Our Mission!

Our mission is to eat biscuits. Mostly foreign biscuits. And then say what we think. It's not complicated. 

Biscuit Review #3 - Pim's Orange European Biscuit! Controversy Abounds at FBR World HQ!

Hi biscuit eaters!!  Welcome back for our third review.  The Tim Tams have been safely put back into the FBR biscuit tin so we can report on Pim's Orange European biscuits.  Pim's are the pride of the Belgian biscuit industry*.  Belgium is of course, one of the largest countries in central Asia**.

No sooner had we opened the package at the wrong end when controversy erupted.  While the rest of the staff rejoiced at the delightful combination of spongy biscuit, marmalade and chocolate, FBR shoe expert Emilia found the Pim's Orange to be one of the most disagreeable biscuits she'd ever tried.  

Emilia*** doing an admirable job disguising her feelings for the Pim's Orange...

Emilia****, moments after the Pim's orange, suffering a wicked head cold.

She later reported a bad head cold, which she attributed to the Pim's Orange*****, suggesting a raspberry jam would likely not have had the same effect.

Despite the confusion, our staff managed to pull together in time of crisis to contribute their reviews:

Erin - "Given that my foreign biscuit expertise centres in and around Oceania, I did not know what to expect from the crafty Belgians.  I know they can put out a waffle and a Blonde ale like it's nobody's business, but a biscuit?  That's asking a lot and yet they delivered.  Kudos, Belgium!!"  999 omgs

Emilia - "Ugh,  I dink I dot a code.  Raspberry cure pease!"  -100,000 omgs

Betty - OMG x 10,000!  10,000 omgs

Lorraine - "I was leery of the Belgians and this clear Jaffa Cake rip off, but I have to say, this is a clever play on the venerable British mainstay." 1000 omgs

John - Quite a respectable biscuit.  I'm feeling a little badly for the Jaffa cake which will have its work cut out for it when it comes to the FBR review table.  850 omgs

Sean - "Really?  Virulent biscuits??  Is that where we are now?  If some of these biscuits contained just a little bit of kale, I don't think anyone would be sick right now, do you?  Time to get real people..."

Up next:  Pim's Raspberry!

* we suspect it's the pride of the Belgian biscuit industry but we didn't do any research to verify that it was true.  They have to be up there pretty high though.

** Belgium is not large, nor is it in Asia.  It is a small European country.  Some people mistakenly think Greece is an Asian country.  Also not true. It's in Europe as well.

*** not really Emilia
**** also not Emilia

***** There is no scientific evidence of Pim's orange causing colds.  We suspect the vitamin C contained in the marmalade probably provides a major health benefit. Again, we have no scientific evidence that these health benefits exist. We didn't want to bother Science as it seems to have a lot on its plate, so we just assumed.  Approximately no other FBR staff members, hangers-on or interns caught a cold so it probably wasn't the biscuit.

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The Infamous "Tim Tam Slam" Attempt...

Erin here, known for my reconnection with a long lost favourite biscuit, the Tim Tam (reference my review on the first post). Last we were together was in 2006, when I lived in NZ, and I would purchase a varied selection of Tim Tams whenever I went to the grocery store...corner store...mall. Today, in delightful haste, I attempted my first "Tim Tam Slam" which, for those unaware, involves biting off the opposite corners of a Tim Tam, and using the biscuit as a straw to draw up a beverage. I had my morning coffee in hand and, away I went, with caution thrown to the tasty wind. By golly, I was successful! In my sheer excitement, I went for a second sip and, to the detriment of my common sense, and clothing, my morning coffee melted the chocolate and I indented the biscuit into the shape of my hand, resultantly spilling coffee onto my scarf and shirt, narrowly missing my pants. Needless to say, I was most pleased with the delightful coffee and chocolate mix, and would highly recommend giving this a try. A disclaimer I would add now that I'm a veteran "Tim Tam Slammer" is to use once, then dispose of the biscuit into your stomach. Don't let the Tim Tam Slam YOU. Until next time, biscuit lovers, stay stocked with your favourite biscuits. And ask John to be in the general vicinity with a tea towel for clean up in aisle hilarity. :)

Biscuit Review #2 - Tim Tam (Chewy Caramel)

Hi biscuit eaters!  We're back with our second review.  We've headed back to Australia* for another Tim Tam offering. This time it's the Chewy Caramel. 

This lovely biscuit proved to be very popular with the FBR staff. Essentially, it's a Tim Tam original with the addition of some chewy caramel in the middle. Safe to say that the good people at Arnott's know a thing or two about biscuit engineering. 

Our staff of top biscuit eaters contributed their reviews**

Erin - "Just as I remember. Biscuit heaven. It also induced a mild Tim Tam coma that caused me to try a Tim Tam Slam with a regular TT."  See the results in her TT Slam posting. 1000 omgs

Emilia - "Well, I did suggest caramel and this had caramel."  600 omgs

Betty - OMG x 1000!!  1000 omgs

Lorraine - "Impressed that the Aussies are making such delectable biscuits. But let's not get ahead of ourselves here. We haven't done Walker's Shortbread yet." 1000 omgs

John - "I quite liked it."  750 omgs

Sean - "you said there was kale in this one. There's not. That's not funny."  50 omgs

* we didn't actually head to Australia. We went to a Metro*** and got the Tim Tams there. 

** although quotation marks are used to make you think that's what the person said, they might not have actually said that. But it was pretty much what they meant. There were a lot of people there and it was noisy. 

*** Metro is a Canadian grocery store for our international readers. 

Biscuit Review #1 - Tim Tam (Original)

Hi biscuit lovers!  Welcome back to one of the most popular foreign biscuit review blogs ever!

This week we start strong with the Aussie juggernaut, Tim Tam from Arnott's. It was brought to our attention by FBR Southern Hemisphere expert, Erin.  We reviewed this gem from down under last week and it was a hit with the entire staff of FBR.  Our good friends at Wikipedia describe the biscuit thusly: "A Tim Tam is composed of two layers of chocolate malted cookie, separated by a light chocolate cream filling, and coated in a thin layer of textured chocolate."

Our top staff contributed these reviews:

Erin - Reunited and it feels so good!  Welcome back to my life Tim Tams.  100 omgs
Emilia - decent but needed caramel.  72 omgs
Betty - OMG  100 omgs
Lorraine - not Scottish, but definitely not crap.  Overall - brilliant!  100 omgs
John - quite lovely. 91 omgs
Sean - good, but lacking in kale.  50 omgs


Next up - Tim Tam Chewy Caramel!

Welcome!! Care for a biscuit?

Hi biscuit lovers!  Welcome to the Foreign Biscuit Review.  The premise of this blog is pretty simple. Our crew of top biscuit eaters will eat foreign* biscuits and then review the results of the biscuit eating.

* - we will be eating and reviewing biscuits that are not from Canada.  We reserve the right to relax the foreign content rules and include a yummy domestic biscuit in the review.  Especially if you are a domestic biscuit maker and you give us some.

Thanks for visiting!