Hi biscuit eaters!! Welcome back for our third review. The Tim Tams have been safely put back into the FBR biscuit tin so we can report on Pim's Orange European biscuits. Pim's are the pride of the Belgian biscuit industry*. Belgium is of course, one of the largest countries in central Asia**.
No sooner had we opened the package at the wrong end when controversy erupted. While the rest of the staff rejoiced at the delightful combination of spongy biscuit, marmalade and chocolate, FBR shoe expert Emilia found the Pim's Orange to be one of the most disagreeable biscuits she'd ever tried.
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| Emilia*** doing an admirable job disguising her feelings for the Pim's Orange... |
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| Emilia****, moments after the Pim's orange, suffering a wicked head cold. |
She later reported a bad head cold, which she attributed to the Pim's Orange*****, suggesting a raspberry jam would likely not have had the same effect.
Despite the confusion, our staff managed to pull together in time of crisis to contribute their reviews:
Erin - "Given that my foreign biscuit expertise centres in and around Oceania, I did not know what to expect from the crafty Belgians. I know they can put out a waffle and a Blonde ale like it's nobody's business, but a biscuit? That's asking a lot and yet they delivered. Kudos, Belgium!!" 999 omgs
Emilia - "Ugh, I dink I dot a code. Raspberry cure pease!" -100,000 omgs
Betty - OMG x 10,000! 10,000 omgs
Lorraine - "I was leery of the Belgians and this clear Jaffa Cake rip off, but I have to say, this is a clever play on the venerable British mainstay." 1000 omgs
John - Quite a respectable biscuit. I'm feeling a little badly for the Jaffa cake which will have its work cut out for it when it comes to the FBR review table. 850 omgs
Sean - "Really? Virulent biscuits?? Is that where we are now? If some of these biscuits contained just a little bit of kale, I don't think anyone would be sick right now, do you? Time to get real people..."
Up next: Pim's Raspberry!
* we suspect it's the pride of the Belgian biscuit industry but we didn't do any research to verify that it was true. They have to be up there pretty high though.
** Belgium is not large, nor is it in Asia. It is a small European country. Some people mistakenly think Greece is an Asian country. Also not true. It's in Europe as well.
*** not really Emilia
**** also not Emilia
***** There is no scientific evidence of Pim's orange causing colds. We suspect the vitamin C contained in the marmalade probably provides a major health benefit. Again, we have no scientific evidence that these health benefits exist. We didn't want to bother Science as it seems to have a lot on its plate, so we just assumed. Approximately no other FBR staff members, hangers-on or interns caught a cold so it probably wasn't the biscuit.
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